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Cinematic Animation Visualizes One Artist’s Experience Living With Anxiety

By Sara Barnes on December 21, 2021

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A post shared by Pulkit Kamal (@fivemillimetre)

When suffering from a mental disorder, words can be futile in fully capturing how a particular affliction feels. Artist Pulkit Kamal has visualized how anxiety, in particular, feels for him in one poignant animation. The digital rendering is a single nighttime scene in which a person sits in a chair overlooking the glittering city below. Rain is trailing down the giant picture window and the “o” in a neon sign flashes as if it is burning out. The character leans forward, as if to get a better view, but ultimately sits back as if they are glued to the seat.

Kamal created this gif to describe his experience with anxious thoughts. “I've had anxiety for about 10 years now,” he shares with My Modern Met, “and while we see people using the term in a broad sense in movies and places, for me it's been this constant fear of the unknown, you can feel it's there, but you can't validate its presence.”

The experience is paralyzing for Kamal. “For hours, I'd lay by myself staring at the corner of the wall,” he recalls, “hoping my brain would stop filling in the blanks and stop making its own scenarios of things that'd never happen.” It’s through this digital piece that he wants to symbolize anxiety in hopes of making a difference for someone else. “I just wanted to show this feeling through my art and maybe reach out to people and let them know they are not alone in this.”