@payalforstyle No dust here. #dustyson #dustydaughter #trend #boymom ♬ original sound – Bryan
Many people put in effort every day to make the world a more equal place. However, there are many ideas and values that further deepen the gender gap that are still deeply ingrained in our society. And while it may sound like it's an uphill battle, there are many people working hard to overcome these roles, one day at a time. Just look at Payal Desai, a 37-year-old mom who has made waves online. The reason? She has shared what she's teaching her sons to do so they don't put an extra burden on their future partners when they grow up, from house chores to emotional labor.
In her TikTok series titled “No Dusty Sons,” Desai addresses how boys and girls are sometimes raised differently, and how that translates to adult relationships. In one of her videos, we see her teaching her son to pick up after himself so someone else's kid “doesn't have to deal with a man who was catered to his whole life,” or showing him how to pick cards and gifts for extended family members so that remembering occasions and being thoughtful doesn't fall on his future spouse's shoulders.
Of course, these lessons wouldn't go down as easily without the comedic element of Desai's chilling stare at the end of the video. As if it wasn't funny enough, she recently recruited her mom to star in one of her videos about teaching the boys how to cook “so their partners won't spend their entire lives in the kitchen like she did.” While it's really amusing to see how Desai's intimidating gaze is in her genes, the message is unfortunately something that is highly relatable to many women around the world.
Many of Desai's lessons have future partners in mind, but a few of them also address more general behavior. For example, in one video, she explains to her son that facial hair on women is perfectly normal and he shouldn't bully anyone for it. Desai also addresses the emotional side, and encourages her children to write down their feelings to process them, instead of having an outburst.
“After becoming a mom of sons, I wanted to ensure they grew up with respect and empathy for themselves and girls. I also knew I wanted them to emulate what they see at home between my husband and I—an equitable partnership built on communication and collaboration,” Desai told BuzzFeed. Ultimately, her videos call for parents to guide their children into being self-sufficient and emotionally mature regardless of their gender. By overcoming unfair divides in our homes, we can truly began to dream of a fairer world for everyone.
Payal Desai, a 37-year-old mom, has shared what she's teaching her sons to do so they don't put an extra burden on their future partners, from house chores to emotional labor.
@payalforstyle We can’t have the crap piled up collecting…dust. #undusting #dustyson #dustydaughter #raisingsons #momofboys #motherhood #parenthood #funny #relatable ♬ original sound – Bryan
In her TikTok series titled “No Dusty Sons,” Desai addresses how boys and girls are sometimes raised differently, and how that translates to adult relationships.
@payalforstyle Dust free lessons in getting dressed. #dustyson #dustydaughter #trending #funny #dressthepart #grwm ♬ original sound – Bryan
Of course, these lessons wouldn't go down as easily without the comedic element of Desai's chilling stare at the end of the video.
@payalforstyle Dust be gone when it comes to sharing this aspect of the #mentalload Too often one partner takes on remembering all the birthdays, buying thoughtful gifts, and writing in the cards – usually for BOTH sides of the family. Men can be thoughtful when they want to be, so let’s dispel that toxic incompetence when it comes to the simple task of getting HIS mother a bday card and gift #dustyson #dustydaughter #dusty #trending #incompetence #funny #raisingyoungmen #raisingsons #momofboys ♬ original sound – Bryan
“After becoming a mom of sons, I wanted to ensure they grew up with respect and empathy for themselves and girls.”
@payalforstyle Dusty thinks he can bully & laugh at girls for body hair? Never here. As a girl who has been self conscious of body hair since THIRD GRADE, this one was very important to make. #bodyhairshaming #dustyson #dustydaughter #trending #momsoftiktok #raisingboys #raisingsons #raisingboysright ♬ original sound – Bryan